need another drink. this is the easiest way
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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