yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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