ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
