I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
