Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ladies don't puke and tell
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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