i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How naked do you want me to be?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
