I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
