I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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