i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
