you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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