There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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