office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
