i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
