what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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