Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
