I accidentally had phone sex last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
