Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
