Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
