Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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