I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
