I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize