so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
