You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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