My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
