just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I came so hard my ears popped.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
