3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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