Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
