Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
