Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
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My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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