ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
