she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
