Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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