i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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