Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
