there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
