i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
