so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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