i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
