is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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