i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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