at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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