Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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