We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize