Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
