the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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