Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
