I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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