okay pat passed out under dana's car
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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