Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
