I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
