I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I have demons in me.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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