things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
