Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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