Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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