I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She is in my trunk
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
