Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
