Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
