I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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