Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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