Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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