im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
