Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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