woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
