Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Randomize
