I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
